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The Gottman Institute
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Добавлен 20 фев 2009
The Gottman Institute applies leading-edge research on marriage in a practical, down-to-earth therapy and also trains therapists committed to helping couples. No other approach to couples education and therapy has relied on such intensive, detailed, and long-term scientific study of why marriages succeed or fail.
We understand that the human family is in crisis, and that all individuals are capable of and deserve compassion. It is our mission to reach out to families in order to help create and maintain greater love and health in relationships. We are committed to an ongoing program of research that increases the understanding of relationships and adds to the development of interventions that have been carefully evaluated.
We understand that the human family is in crisis, and that all individuals are capable of and deserve compassion. It is our mission to reach out to families in order to help create and maintain greater love and health in relationships. We are committed to an ongoing program of research that increases the understanding of relationships and adds to the development of interventions that have been carefully evaluated.
Red Flags in Relationships
In this video, Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman, co-founder of The Gottman Institute and world-renowned relationship expert, shares the most important red flags to watch out for in a relationship. From subtle behaviors to major warning signs, learn how to spot patterns that could be harmful to you or your partner. Whether you're dating, in a long-term relationship, or simply curious, this advice could help you navigate love more wisely.
🔔 Don’t forget to subscribe for more expert relationship advice!
📢 Share your thoughts in the comments below: What red flags have you noticed in relationships?
👥 Visit gottman.com for more resources and relationship tips.
#RelationshipAdvice #RedFlags #DrJulieGottma...
🔔 Don’t forget to subscribe for more expert relationship advice!
📢 Share your thoughts in the comments below: What red flags have you noticed in relationships?
👥 Visit gottman.com for more resources and relationship tips.
#RelationshipAdvice #RedFlags #DrJulieGottma...
Просмотров: 1 511
Видео
The Truth About Every Marriage: Dr. Julie Gottman - All Relationships Face Challenges
Просмотров 3,2 тыс.19 часов назад
No marriage is perfect, no matter how it appears from the outside. In this insightful video, Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman, co-founder of The Gottman Institute and a leading relationship expert, reveals why every marriage faces struggles. Discover the truth behind "perfect relationships" and learn how all couples-no matter how happy they seem-experience tough times.
Gottman Parenting
Просмотров 741День назад
Discover the key to a happier, more connected family with Gottman Parenting. Unlock expert tools and tips from Drs. John and Julie Gottman @TheGottmanInstitute based on science, not myth.. Ready to start the journey? Visit www.gottman.com/parenting for more information.
Welcome to the Gottman Institute
Просмотров 984День назад
Ready to build happier, healthier relationships? Discover expert resources at www.gottman.com and take the first step today. The Gottman Institute provides practical, research-based tools to strengthen relationships. Co-founded by Drs. John and Julie Schwartz Gottman, we help couples directly and provide state-of-the-art training to mental health professionals and other health care providers. T...
5 Signs of a Narcissistic Personality
Просмотров 6 тыс.14 дней назад
Dr. Julie Gottman @TheGottmanInstitute delves into the complexities some of the signs of Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) in this short insightful video.
Avoiding the Default Parent Trap | Dr. Julie Gottman on Parenting
Просмотров 8 тыс.6 месяцев назад
In this insightful video, Dr. Julie Gottman, co-founder of @TheGottmanInstitute and renowned clinical psychologist, addresses a common concern for many parents: "I don't want to become the default parent. What do I do?" Dr. Gottman delves into the dynamics that often lead one parent to take on the bulk of parenting responsibilities, exploring how this role can unintentionally become a default. ...
Parenthood is intimidating!
Просмотров 2,7 тыс.7 месяцев назад
It's totally OK to be intimidated by becoming a parent - no matter if it's your first time or you've done it before. Dr. Julie Gottman shares some of her insights for new parents-to-be. Expecting a child? Our in-person, live online, or on-demand Bringing Baby Home workshop helps you prepare yourself and your relationship for this new chapter! www.gottman.com/parents/
The Power of Father-Daughter Relationships | Insights with Dr. John Gottman
Просмотров 2,3 тыс.7 месяцев назад
This one's for the girl dads, but you don't need to be the father of a daughter to be a positive role model and involved in your child's life. What's important is being your child's #1 supporter, no matter their gender. Dr. John Gottman tells us about his experience as a father and being his daughter's biggest fan.
Drs. Julie & John Gottman react to Ms. Rachel's Emotion Coaching
Просмотров 3,3 тыс.8 месяцев назад
Emotion coaching can bring you and your child closer together through empathy, and teaching self-soothing.
Gottman Parenting: Welcome to Toddlerhood
Просмотров 1,9 тыс.9 месяцев назад
Gottman Parenting: Welcome to Toddlerhood
Gottman Parenting: Empower Your Kids to Thrive in the New World They are Growing Up in.
Просмотров 2,2 тыс.9 месяцев назад
Gottman Parenting: Empower Your Kids to Thrive in the New World They are Growing Up in.
Gottman Parenting Intro: Based on Science Not Trends
Просмотров 1,3 тыс.9 месяцев назад
Gottman Parenting Intro: Based on Science Not Trends
What Can You Do in 5 Minutes: The Gottman Method Relationship Advice
Просмотров 4,4 тыс.9 месяцев назад
What Can You Do in 5 Minutes: The Gottman Method Relationship Advice
The Predictors of Divorce : Julie Duets with Matthias Barker
Просмотров 5 тыс.9 месяцев назад
The Predictors of Divorce : Julie Duets with Matthias Barker
Catch Your Partner Doing Something Right: The Gottman Method Relationship Advice
Просмотров 4,3 тыс.10 месяцев назад
Catch Your Partner Doing Something Right: The Gottman Method Relationship Advice
Start Adding More "We" and Less "Me" to your relationship: The Gottman Method Relationship Advice
Просмотров 4,1 тыс.11 месяцев назад
Start Adding More "We" and Less "Me" to your relationship: The Gottman Method Relationship Advice
Self-Care Isn't Selfish: The Gottman Method Relationship Advice
Просмотров 2,7 тыс.11 месяцев назад
Self-Care Isn't Selfish: The Gottman Method Relationship Advice
Trust is Built in Very Small Moments: The Gottman Method Relationship Advice
Просмотров 7 тыс.11 месяцев назад
Trust is Built in Very Small Moments: The Gottman Method Relationship Advice
You Don't Have to Solve Your Problems: The Gottman Method Relationship Advice
Просмотров 7 тыс.11 месяцев назад
You Don't Have to Solve Your Problems: The Gottman Method Relationship Advice
Listen to Everything Before Responding: The Gottman Method Relationship Advice
Просмотров 3,4 тыс.11 месяцев назад
Listen to Everything Before Responding: The Gottman Method Relationship Advice
Understand First, Speak Second: The Gottman Method Relationship Advice
Просмотров 2,7 тыс.11 месяцев назад
Understand First, Speak Second: The Gottman Method Relationship Advice
Complaints vs Criticism: The Gottman Method Relationship Advice
Просмотров 7 тыс.11 месяцев назад
Complaints vs Criticism: The Gottman Method Relationship Advice
Don't Let Your Phone Interfere With Your Relationship: The Gottman Method Relationship Advice
Просмотров 4,2 тыс.11 месяцев назад
Don't Let Your Phone Interfere With Your Relationship: The Gottman Method Relationship Advice
Attunement - Building Trust in Your Relationship: The Gottman Method Relationship Advice
Просмотров 8 тыс.Год назад
Attunement - Building Trust in Your Relationship: The Gottman Method Relationship Advice
How to Destress With Your Partner the Right Way: The Gottman Method Relationship Advice
Просмотров 8 тыс.Год назад
How to Destress With Your Partner the Right Way: The Gottman Method Relationship Advice
What is The Magic Ratio?: The Gottman Method Relationship Advice
Просмотров 6 тыс.Год назад
What is The Magic Ratio?: The Gottman Method Relationship Advice
Difficult Emotions: The Gottman Method Relationship Advice
Просмотров 5 тыс.Год назад
Difficult Emotions: The Gottman Method Relationship Advice
Self-Soothing: The Gottman Method Relationship Advice
Просмотров 4,5 тыс.Год назад
Self-Soothing: The Gottman Method Relationship Advice
Other red flag - when a person in first meetings is starting to ask about you some very private questions.
¿Where is the rest of the video? It cut off very suddenly
Such a short.......
Dating is phony and superficial. It’s all about putting up a good front. Not a good way to get real and genuinely get to know someone.
what's the good way?
The Gottman Institute, cool video I really liked it
Thanks so much for this information. I’m newly divorced and dating has been an interesting challenge. But I’m glad to say that I’m really enjoying being single and learning more about me ❤
It gets more interesting. Wow Dr Julie 🙆💪🏼
I wish I had been able to identify contempt in the beginning of the relationship with my ex. He had made comments multiple times in the very early stages of dating and I just chalked it up to him having a bad day or being stressed. 😢
❤ this thank you 🙏🏾
So you portray a heterosexual couple having difficulty and a homosexual couple “mastering” the relationship. Really thought the discussion would be better. Not impressed. Actually, pretty typical. Maybe keep it vanilla instead of DEI.
Of course, the comments section is all women🫵😂
Could you make a video about how NOT to raise a narcissist, please? Your makeup looks great.
Thank you Julie. We bought the “7 Principles” book and it’s really helping. Then we added “Fight Right” and your Conflict bundle. All great resources! Learning how to love each other better. Appreciate your generous help and expertise to make improvements!
"The Seven Principles" rock! They helped my marriage - and me - more than 19 sessions of talk therapy (NOT Gottman Method). Unlike talk therapy, which was a messy self-discovery process, this book clarifies common issues and gives you concrete tools to tackle them. For us personally, the chapters on solvabe and unsolvable (perpetual) problems were a game-changer. Armed with this information, we first resolved the conflict around therapy: whether to stay longer (me) or quit (my partner). And then we started an ongoing process of building a stronger, happier relationship. Week after week, we have our state-of-the-union meetings and learn to communicate - better, faster and cheaper than in the thearpist's office. Thank you, Drs Julie and John Gottman!
If there is addiction, narcissism, etc.. porn.. you can talk all you want. WALK OUT! OR being told, i hate talking about "us". Run...
That sounds like more than one issue.... That poor person's life sucks and I'm glad you're free.
So that includes everyone I've ever known including the grown daughters I raised.
It is said that marriage is so worth it-I don’t see how-I’m exhausted just thinking about it So far hard pass on the whole thing
Thank you sharing Julie
This was good!
How do you make a narcissist suffer forever? You need to destroy narcissist ego and pride. You need to bring them back to reality. And there is a way you can do that. Without harming them directly. And that is by working on yourself. And going back to being the person you were before you got involved with the narcissist. The person that they were attracted to. And then becoming a better version of yourself. If you do that and let them see it, but you reject their hoover attempts. It will destroy their ego. Because they can't deal with rejection. They can't deal with being ignored. Especially if it's from something that they believe they should have. Narcissists find pleasure in breaking you down. They find pleasure in your pain. It gives them satisfaction. So the last thing they want to see is you building yourself up. You are happy. Because what really destroys their ego is when they see that you're not affected by their attempts to destroy you. You're still able to do what you need to do. You're still able to live the life that you want to live. You're still able to laugh and smile. Which means that their efforts have gone to waste. Their plan has failed. They didn't get the result that they were intending for. Because now you're even more successful. You look better than you ever did before. You're in better condition than when they first met you. Which destroys them. Because they remember how good things were back then. That's why they lovebombed you. And they would love to have that again. But if they can't, it will crush them. So you don't need to get revenge on the narcissist. You don't need to do anything to them. Just focus on yourself. Focus on your own life. Focus on building yourself up. Making your life better. And don't let them partake in it. Don't let them be a part of it. That is how you do it. All thanks to the cyber expert who was able to investigate his phone and get me the information and evidence that I needed to gain my freedom from the abusive relationship. If you are in a similar situation you can contact him on Instagram @ spy_maya_01
Sometimes narcissists ( some of them) can sympathize with you and understand your problem if it isn't connected in any aspect with him and if he ( she) has been in the same situation and has felt badly. These are the two conditions for this to happen. If he didn't experience the same, however, he wouldn't sympathize with you.
Love the Older Couple’s love stories 🥰🥰😍😍; makes we wanna cry Happy Tears💯
So true 👏
What are the other signs?
Essentially, if you pierce their veil of grandiosity, their shield, if you become your own person with autonomy and agency (free will), they see this as a deep betrayal. This might not make sense to you, but the reason is this: In their mind, you exist as a fixed version of yourself, as an internal voice or image that must stay consistent. You exist only as a messenger and affirmation of their own hallucinations, not as your own person. And once you show your own personality or reveal it to them, it creates anxiety, the fear of abandonment in them. That's why they belittle and abandon you; fundamentally to avoid being rejected and to escape their own sense of abandonment.
The narcissist does not speak to manipulate you, to reinforce their grandiosity and to share their equipment fantasy. Narcissists do not speak; they communicate healing, they speak, they address you but they never speak; they address dimension, they give dimension lessons. They are not there to listen, they are there to teach lessons and they do all this to reinforce the narcissist.
I'd also like to add that my NPD husband lies more than anybody I've ever met. He tells more lies than the truth
For the last 6 years I have been studying npd, reading, watching videos, engaging in Instagram accounts regarding people who suffer from NPD abuse and I just want to say that this video was so on point and so concise and just really summed up everything that I've educated myself with over the last several years. Unfortunately I'm married to someone with NPD and he fits this video to a T. All five points. Thank you, Julie, for posting this excellent video. I hope it helps many people. I also hope and pray that one day I can get out of my abusive marriage.
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So, here is the main question: is it better, for all the reasons you mentioned, to let them experience judgement when they are younger, preparing them for the real world; or hide them from judgement, only to be thirst into the harsh judgmental world when they nearly become an adult? What is better?
You take that child for a walk or run. Then find good things to talk about instead of the problem. That problem will go away if there's not a underlying health problem then you support them and help them.
YES!!!!!! Protect children from mean old people!
Exactly. And I wish this disorder could be diagnosed and used in court. This person is mentally ill and a danger to people.
My mom was bulemic, she "fought" with her body her whole life. But it didn't spare me of her comments... Even though I know where that comes from (as an adult) it crashed my selfesteem (and I'm still working on it).
This is one source that I can really trust. And she started exactly right. Too much name calling around, everyone is a narcissist and an abuser
Good advice many need to hear
Dang. I’d be interested in reading about this philosophy
You can find out more at www.gottman.com/parenting
100% Julie has nailed it. I was married to a drunk but he wasn’t a narcissist. My 2nd partner was a narcissist. I’d take a drunk anytime.
I had both. My narcissistic grandmother and a mom who sheltered me too much. I have crazy trust issues and my cut off game is strong. I'm now unlearning certain things and it's difficult.
Sheltering children can also be a bad thing
I agree. It helps to model boundary setting behavior and debriefings after tense events.
This needs to be in a short or a reel
Autism ? Developmental narcissism? It’s hard .
❤❤perfect
How would you describe a passive narcissist?
I was married to someone like this for 16 years. He was violent with both words and physical actions. His anger was used as a tool of control and I have a fawn trauma response. It was a match made in hell. I still feel mood shifts in my current (not narcissist) partner and immediately move into fix it mode. It’s hard to stop. The effects of a narcissist mess with you long after they’re gone.
💯💯💯
Gottmans are a wealth of knowledge
When I was divorcing, my ex was diagnosed with OCPD, and this also applies. No wonder I couldn't get along with him!
So grateful for being introduced to this institute. It has completely changed my perspective on marriage and relationships ❤
Thank you so much!
I think this is the most clinically accurate description of NPD i have found on youtube. Just my opinion
I say I'm cool even when I'm not